Your wish is my command

I am so fucking emotional right now.... I think I've been avoiding really dealing with what tomorrow does and can mean, but I think there has been dust in my face almost hourly today... this video, 1812 overture, listening to all my friends, your posts (pure's especially after the game). Basically just almost losing it at all times. Have been listening to a hate mix pretty much on repeat for the last 2 days, and even 'lose yourself' gets me emotional, and forget the 18 fucking 12 overture - lord. I just can't stop.

We are on the precipice. Of something great? Or something disappointing? Is this beating the Indians in '99 (sorry pure) only to get smoked by the yankee's? Or is this Ortiz hitting a single in the bottom of the 14th to send us back to yankee stadium? I honestly have no idea. And maybe thats what so great about it. I think the pressure is off now - we've met our expectations, we've shown heart, resolve, determination. The only question is how far can that heart take us? I am borderline in physical love with this team - all the way from Landon (he is someone! he is somewhere!) and Timmy down to Demerit and even Bornstein (never thought I'd say that). And I don't want this relationship to end.

The reaction back here has been amazing. I mean, anytime Ann McGinnis is emailing USA youtube videos around to all the girls we know, you realize something special is happening. But the bonding - with friends who you never thought could care, to strangers, to conversation with my doormen, staff in my coffee shop, even the guys I had a meeting with this morning for work. Hell, I've talked to friends from college for the first time in 3 years over US soccer. This is amazing. This is happening.

I love how uppity we've gotten with each other about sharing all of this on the blog. I think its because we really fucking care. And I'll tell you what - with the reality finally setting in that I am not there, and not having to hide in my defensive emotional bunker over not being able to go, I am so heartbroken I am not with you it kills me almost by the minute. Have had a number of long talks with myself, and this cash flow problem will never happen again. Putting the cost of my cigarettes into the Brazil '14 fund is already under works. But, just know that every scrap of written word, even second of video, every hastily posted picture rocks my world. The one webpage I always have open, and always refresh, is this blog.

And, lastly - my heart is fucking full right now. Even if we lose tomorrow, everyone has shown up, everyone has gotten after it, everyone has poured their heart out. Thats true for landon, jozy, clint, jayjay, cherundolo, etc but its also true for us, for our fans, and our friends. Whatever happens tomorrow, this is our moment. You traveled. We cared. Now, everyone cares, the world is watching, and its game fucking ON.

Where are my friends tonight?

South Fucking Africa.

Damn Straight.